Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Nerd Girl Chats: Lux Edition.

"Wait! We weren't done yet. Hey Pepe, can you say glow stick?"

So, Willow and I found ourselves on gchat the other night and we were discussing random things, birthday parties and crybaby husbands with the sniffles when suddenly:

P:
 UM I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'LL EVEN GET THIS OR IF YOU'RE CURRENTLY PARTYING HARD BUT HOLY FUCK DID YOU SEE THIS: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13362536-opal AND THE SYNOPSIS IS BACK UP AND I'M KINDA DOING SOME CRYBABY BIEBER TEARS OVER HERE.
Beiber? Bieber? Whatever.
W:...a lot of spontaneous combustion? Give me a minute.
P: I was looking through our Lux reviews earlier, trying to figure out how to combine them and I found all these Daemon extras Armentrout posted on her site and I AM DISTURBED BY HOW BADLY THIS SERIES HAS MADE ME LOSE MY SHIT.
P: But seriously? Those extras? Good shit, dude. I'm not saying I threw my panties at the computer, but I'm not saying I didn't either.
W: Wait....wait. There are extras. Extras with Daemon?
P: YOU DIDN'T KNOW?!
W: Uh, no, dude. I didn't know this. I'm getting squeaky right now
P: OH GIRLFRIEND. LET ME SEDUCE YOU.

P: I need to stress that the last one is the BURNING LAPTOP OF RECKONING scene and ...things happened to me.
W: OHMYGAH. Is this THE scene? FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE.
P: I am a changed person. ....Do you think you could have sex with Daemon in his Luxen form? Am I a freak for hoping this happens at some point? Would it be like fucking a light bulb? OMG WHAT IF IT MADE YOUR BODY GLOW LIKE WHEN YOU PUT YOUR HAND OVER A FLASHLIGHT. That would be fucking hysterical.
W: Um, yeah. Please. Bring on the Luxen form as long as it mean his pants are off.
W: I hope she shines. I hope she turns into a Lite Brite. 
W: Best afterglow ever. DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?
P: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! 
P: Life will mean nothing if he doesn't refer to his penis as his "glow worm." I am ashamed by how much thought I'm putting into this. 
W: There's mechanics to banging it out with a lit from within alien. You're just figuring out the formula of it. Kind of like algebra.
P: Yes. Yes. That's totally it. I am not at all perving on a fictional light being from another planet. I'm am considering the ins & outs (UNF) of how fucking like an animal would work.
P: But seriously. I hope he calls it his glow worm.

And then we got off on other subjects and books and we somehow got on the subject of Trekkies and Roswell (the show, not the actual city) and then Willow gave me the update on how it's going with Gabriel's Inferno:

W: Dude, I'm really trying to read this Inferno book, for the sake of science and comparing it to others of its ilk and to talk about this phenomenon, but I honestly can not think of another book I've read that has been this bad. Like off the charts bad. Nothing readable about this bad. And YET, I look at reviews and the deal it got. What. Is. Happening.
P: The same thing that happened with 50 Shades, dude. I didn't put much stock into the Mayan thing, but I gotta say, I'm starting to become a believer.

And then, it happened again:

P: ....OH ... MY... GOD. OH MY GOD.
W: WHAT.
W: OH DUDE.
W: GLOW WORM. DO IT.
P: That couple that's featured on the cover? And like every cover everywhere right now? They're actually engaged and the romantic in me is swooning a little bit.
P: But more importantly: GLOW WORMS.
P: http://jenniferarmentrout.blogspot.com/2012/08/ya-crush-tourney-wrap-up.html <--Also there's that and I just read that 4 & 5 are gonna be in dual perspectives and don't look at me like that, I am not proud of this massive fangirling I'm doing over here.
W: You're telling me not to look at you like that when I'm still watching the video on repeat over here.
P:  That "E.T" song seemed cheesy and obvious, but God, it's kinda hot. I want that song playing when he finally unleashes his glow worm.
W:  She seriously licked out getting that couple on her covers and having them be so damn pretty, be romantically engaged IRL, and have them get involved in promoting these books. I know they're also on the cover for Significance, but it's all blurry and artsy and not as big a deal as they are here.
W: licked? lucked? My mind is going a lot of places right now.
P: Ironically I was just reading a deleted scene from Obsidian about Ice Cream & here you come in with licked instead of lucked and clearly we are dirty dirty girls. That couple really is ridiculously adorable though. And I love how involved they are with promoting these Special Sauce All Over my Luxen books.
P: OH SHIT SON DID YOU SEE THE BOOK TRAILER HOLY FUCK I CANT STOP TYPING IN CAPS. http://jenniferarmentrout.blogspot.com/2012/07/offician-obsidian-trailer.html What has this woman done to me? What is this witchcraft she has cast?
P: Did you see that? I didn't even speak in English really. Witchcraft she has cast? Wtf is that?
W: THEY LIKE ACTED SHIT OUT!
W: This chick LUCKED the fuck out. I just want to look at both of them. I want to watch them sit next to each other and then maybe things start to happen, I don't know.
P: Maybe glow worms are involved. You never know. You can't fight attraction. We just want to watch, that's all.
W: I just skipped over to watch the Onyx one. SO MUCH DAEMON. And like, all of it was making out, which I am not complaining about one bit.
P:  I just did too. I was getting ready to link you because OH HAI, DUDE WHO PLAYS DAEMON, YES I WOULD LIKE TO WATCH A CLOSE UP OF YOUR LIPS.
P: THERE ARE TWO OF YOU? Oh, wow. How funny. There are two of us. Disregard the circus of people behind us.
W: I love how much we're yelling at each other.
P: Please pay no mind to the long haired crazy one randomly stabbing people in the jaws to eliminate the competition. It's fine. She's just spirited.
P: We are very enthusiastic.
P: I hate when authors write more than one series at a time because I feel like they're wasting time they could be using to finish the one I care about.
W: Hullo, glow worm.
P: MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY. They were in Jacksonville, FL. Doing a book signing. WHY DID WE NOT KNOW THIS. Actually, I think it was before we read them but WHATEVER. WHY DID WE NOT PSYCHICALLY FORESEE THAT THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?
W: Because it was the universe's way of preventing us from getting arrested for real.
P: Oh, shit. They were in Orlando. They. Were. RIGHT. THERE.
W: WHAT.
W: WHEN.
W: WHAT.
W: WHAT.
W: I'm starting to sound like Lil Jon over here.
P: OKAYYYY!
W: =))!!! Dead.
P: ...I also have a bit of a girl crush going on for his lady friend. She's ridiculously pretty. 
W: "Listen, when is the sex ta-- the sequel, when is the sequel releasing?"
P: =))!!!  "Also, yeah, how committed are you two in your relationship? Just wondering."
W: "Do the words Glow Worm mean anything to you guys?"
P: "Would you at all be opposed to using a condom I presoaked in the liquid from these glowsticks?"
P: Glow stick. That'd be another good one.
P: "Hey, girl, I heard you like to party, want to see my special glow stick?"
W: I think I watched that video too many times. I keep hearing, "I want to see your glow stick, eh eh, your glow stick."
W: KATY PERRY GET OUT OF HERE. This is between us and them.
P: GO IMITATE A FIREWORK. WE HAVE THINGS TO DISCUSS.
P: I just read the phrase "Onyx tears" in one of her posts and from this day forth that's what I'll call all my Daemon freak outs. "DON'T LOOK AT ME WHILE I'M CRYING MY BIG BABY OBSIDIAN/ONYX/OPAL TEARS."
W: I'M CRYING ONYX CRYBABY TEARS. I just read that he said "Kitten" at the Orlando B&N signing. WHY WASN'T I THERE?
P: WHY WEREN'T YOU THERE AND WHY DIDN'T YOU BRING ME WITH YOU?
W: "Okay, yes, you two in the back. Your question?" "Hi. Dae- I mean Pepe, can you say Kitten for us?" "Kitten." swooning noises "Okay, and you-" "Wait! We weren't done yet. Hey Pepe, can you say glow stick?"
P:  Do you think his name is pronounced "Pep-ay" or "Peepee." Probably "Pep-ay" right? How irritated do you think he would have gotten if we only called him Peepee?
P: "HEY, PEEPEE? Can you say, 'Hey, Willow and Pen-rye-n, would you like to touch my glow stick, pay no mind to the strikingly good looking girl sitting next to me, she doesn't even mind a little bit'?"
W: "Listen, Peepee. I don't think we're asking a lot here. I'm going to go get the laptop from my friend's trunk and you're just gonna do a little improv here. No big deal."
P: And that's when I turn to you and whisper, "We're gonna need a lot of flashlights."
P: "Also, don't forget the glow stick liquid dipped condom. It's in the glove box."
W: "On it. Wait, should I get the Katy Perry CD? Okay, okay. Too much, got it."
P: You know we'd totally bust out in the glow stick version of it anyway.



HAVEN'T READ THE LUX BOOKS BY JENNIFER L. ARMENTROUT YET? YOU SHOULD:





Rating: 4.5 of 5 stars.










Rating: 4.5 of 5 stars.

1 comment:

  1. I have tears in my eyes from the laughter! Y'all are just great! Glow stick indeed!

    ReplyDelete