Hearing voices in my head.

"My current verdict would be: crazy eyes. Nice ass.""I think I want that on my tombstone," Kami said. "Remember my last wishes, if I get involved in a tragic accident with a fruit cart before I can put it in writing. So, what happened?"

I'll tell you what happened, Kami. Unspoken happened.

And it might have been the best thing that ever happened to me.

Sarah Rees Brennan had showed up on my recommendations numerous times. She was literally stalking them. And I kept telling myself, "eventually." Eventually I will check her out. Eventually I will see what all the fuss about. Eventually I will panic and give in to her list stalking. The problem was, her Demon's Lexicon books just didn't appeal to me. There was nothing about the blurb that screamed, "IF YOU DON'T READ ME YOU WILL LITERALLY DIE A THOUSAND DEATHS." Maybe it was the good little preacher's kid in me that cringed away from demons. Maybe it was the rebellious preacher's kid in me that had read too many books about demons. Whatever it was, I wasn't interested.

Then Unspoken showed up on my lists. And I thought, "Okay, Brennan. I get it. I should read you. We're a perfect match. Calm it down a little bit" and I read the blurb and came over all, "OKAY, BRENNAN. WHERE IS THIS BOOK? I MUST HAVE IT."

Arouse: What Happens After the HEA.

Arouse by Nina Lane
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I've come to a place in my reading that isn't bitter or burnt out yet, but it's a bit tired. I'm done with the pages of sex and skin that lack the bones of a real story. As much as I love good sex in a good book, I can't even remember these people's names and I'm tired.

This is the story of Olivia and Dean West. I know their names and so will you.

As a romance reader, this is the book I'm dying to find in the piles of bare-chested covers. Finding out that it was about an already married couple, already seemingly past their HEA, forcing the question of what happens next made me immediately put it first in my TBR pile. I wanted to see it done, and from the reviews everyone seemed to be in agreement that here it's done memorably well.

Hauntingly well.

The Guilty WTF Pleasure of Black Dagger Brotherhood: Books Wrath-Thor.

Okay. It's a timely moment to talk about one of my deepest, darkest guiltiest of pleasures. This is not something I can bring up in polite society. I mean...how do I even bring it up? What descriptions do I use? What sort of picture am I going to paint for the uninitiated?
Deep breath.
I'm a fan of leather pants wearing vampires who drive Escalades and fight bad guys that smell like baby powder.
Oh, God.
There's just no coming back from that is there?

With the long-awaited release of Lover At Last, it's hard not to get all caught up in the BDB talk. The Black Dagger Brotherhood is a funny sort of obsession, but it's one I can't shake. Some series you dive into with the gusto of a fangirl, but you find yourself looking around after awhile and trying to walk out of the room without anyone noticing you were even there.

But with BDB, I'm still in there, still reading the next books, still skimming the parts about the Lessers. Still hanging out with vampires who use unnecessary H's in their names and wear boots they obsessively refer to as shit kickers, and always seem to end their sentences with either yup or true.

Listen, I don't have explanations or a diagnosis for why I'm still waving my BDB flag. What I do have is a run through for where we've been with this brotherhood of vampires with poor grammar, kinky bedroom secrets and sometimes dragon tattoos.

I'm going back, back to Morganville.

"Teach me how to do that stuff you do."

"What, be awesome? Can't do it."

Bitter Blood (Morganville Vampires #13) by Rachel Caine.

Rating: 4 of 5 stars.

The last Morganville Vampire book I read was number 12 and, well, I wasn't entirely on board with it. But I was committed to the series and they probably saved my grandma, so I decided I owed it to the Glass House Gang to keep going, to finish what I started. Thank goodness I didn't end it with number 12.

Bitter Blood was back to that delicious crackfic like quality I loved so much about books 1-11. Things kept happening, there were ghost hunters digging around and Captain Obvious was back and shooting people IN THE FACE and taking down vamps, but only sorta, not really, and people were back from the dead and Hannah was getting canned from her new job as mayor and WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH AMELIE ANYWAY. Also. Hey, Monica. Still a raging bitch?

"So, pre-school, did you follow me in here to profess your gay love or what?"

Awesome.

Claire and Shane were still adorable and slightly dysfunctional and Michael and Eve are all wedded blissed out and causing major problems because EW. INTERSPECIES RELATIONSHIPS. GROSS. And then there's drama there and it's unnecessary and so effing delicious because ANGST. IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER.

I love it.

Also? Very little POV shifting. BONUS.

And Myrnin. Oh, Myrnin. He's still just as fabulous as ever and I still love him with all my blood pumping muscle and want to have his fabulous undead vampire babies.

Rumor has it that there will be 15 books altogether in the series and you know what? I'M GAME. Let's do this, Glass House kids. Just keep your awesome flags flying.

No. There Is No Maybe About This, Baby.

Maybe Baby by Elaine Fox
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

First chapter in, I thought I was somewhere I'd like. Maybe in the vein of some of my favorite paperback romances a'la Rachel Gibson or Lani Diane Rich. Not as screwball as a Crusie, but a funny enough, small town affair with some chest squeezing moments of shipping a worthy couple.

Delaney was having a Mary Tyler Moment of oohing and aahing over this tiny Maine town where she was about to become their fancy city Doc from out of town. She's twirling and about to go into the neighborhood bar to meet up with the super hot guy she met in town who has a boat who she assumes is visiting just like her. He's charming, and his eyes crinkle just so and then they're dancing and before you know it they're have some sandy sex out on the beach. At this point I should have been alerted that maybe this one wasn't going to be my cup of tea. It was a little fluffy and a little too...introspectively sweet to be a one night stand.

Still, though. A one night stand. You know what happens next.

That One Time That Pretty Woman Was a Bald Guy.

Escorted by Claire Kent
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I picked this one out after reading some reviews from other bloggers I follow, most notably Wonk-O-Mance. There seemed to be one thing they were all saying and it was how surprised they were by the story.

The idea of still being surprised stopped me. Was that a butterfly that just took off in my chest?

So I dashed off to read the reviews. I saw the cover, read the blurb.

Sigh. I've had such misses with erotica. There's never enough story for me, and I get tired of the sex. (Gasp! I know.) I want drama, plot and characters who do more with their hands than their bits. I don't want whips or chains or another alpha dude to boss me around. And that's what I was expecting with this one because here was a story about a male prostitute and the romance writer who hires him cause she's still a virgin and isn't that ridiculous.

I expected Mr. Hooker to come in all swagger and smooth with squicky lines about what he's packing and how good he's gonna make it. I was expecting her to be repressed and neurotic and maybe a crybaby. I was expecting her to swoon or faint over his bits and this would be another story about how she tamed the Alpha Beast with her boring love and her boring brown hair.

But it totally isn't.

It kept me up until way too late.

And let me just say it now and get it out of the way.

I fell in love with a hooker. Er, escort.

We're now slutting Facebook up.

HEY OH!

Those Book Sluts (that'd be us....uh....you know. Willow and Pen-rye-n. We're the ones that, you know, do things here.) are now on Facebook.

Come check us out. Give us book recs. Let us know what fictional boys you're sweating. We'll be waiting with our gifs and glitter.

https://www.facebook.com/PaperBoyfriends

She Blinded Me with Science.

Little known fact about me: I love science. I love science the same way Movie Harry Potter loves Magic.

like that.

The way another good pop culture reference loves something else. Science, man. It's glorious.

I wanted to marry Bill Nye as a kid. I watch surgery videos on YouTube as an adult. I was that girl in middle school cutting into my frog with fascination while they other double X chromosomes squealed and cringed away from theirs. Lab days were my favorite in high school and I took 4 years of science when only 2 were required. Everything from earth to meteorology to chemistry, I took it and loved it. As a kid, I loved magic and as I grew up, I realized that's what science was: Magic.

So when The Madman's Daughter popped up on my recs, I squealed in fangirly, nerdy excitement. When I saw that it was inspired by H.G. Wells' The Island of Dr. Moreau*, I officially started biting my nails in anticipation for its release. We're getting science-y up in hurr, yo! Let's do this.

Meet you at Jack's Bar: An Introduction to (Not So) Virgin River (1-5)

When it comes to being somewhere, in the genre of Contemporary Romance, there's nothing as popular as the small town romance. It's timeless and adaptable to new characters moving in as others move on with their HEAs.

And as far as classics go, there's not many places as well-loved as Virgin River.

So, being the romantic that I am, I packed my bags and decided to hit the road.
 
Virgin River by Robyn Carr
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I really thought this was going to be a super cozy, religion and purity brought me to love sort of story. The cover led me to believe I knew where we were headed.

I mean, that's a very nice front porch.

Meredith is a doctor coming off the heartbreak of losing her husband in a violent and unexpected way and wants to start over as a small town doctor, away from the chaos and dirty streets of LA. And like any good romance, when the heroine takes off she ends up in a town of Hot Available Men. She thought it would be a cute postcard sort of place, and is ready to turn right the hell around when she sees that it’s not. It’s a town broken in some places but they’re trying to take care of themselves and each other as best they can, and it's feeling as American as that front porch. She stays to help Doc and a baby that ends up on her doorstep.

Yeah. A baby. On her doorstep.

Across from which is Jack’s bar.

Run by former marine Jack Sheridan. Oh, Jack. He’s a different sort of hero. There’s something salt of the earth, dude next door about him. But better. He's Coach Taylor from Friday Night Lights. He's a man's man that's good and solid and can lead a troop of crazy wolves. He makes me want to give him babies. He'll build his family a house with his own two hands,  show up for his friends, and chop up some wood before the day is out. This isn't an overly drawn, swoony with glistening chest kind of guy. There's an honesty and charm to this that feels like a really good TV series you might want to watch every week.

This town and its people are drawn so well, becoming so much more than what's expected from a small town story, but doesn’t get bogged down with the Introduction Dump. “Okay, so this is So and So and they run the This and That and they’re related to What’s His Face…”

What happens between Jack and Meredith is honest and super hot and it's the kind of life that deserves that front porch.